True Sentence no. 6: finding friends for your kids can make you look like a pedophile

With a 3-year-old and 1-year-old, I’m on continual lookout for neighbor-kid friends. All of our immediate neighbors have kids 1 to 2 decades older – definitely not prime friend age.

So when I saw a little girl, about the same age as my 3 year-old-daughter, scootering past my driveway wearing a Mini Mouse helmet, I decided to lumber after her. (I was already on the driveway anyway. Relax. It’s not as creepy as it sounds.)

But really.

Asking a small child how old they are, what their name is, if they like puppies and swingsets, and if they want to come play at your house where you have puppies and swingsets and toys and ice cream treats…

Not a good look.

Maybe I’ll put up a lawn sign for all the foot traffic (we live in between a pond and the Westwood Nature Center):

WANTED: Playmates age 1 to 5 for my kids age 3 and 1. Must live within 3 blocks of this signpost and enjoy swingsets, Peppa the Pig and Daniel Tiger, blowing bubbles, and big wheels. Pedophiles need not apply.